After reading today’s work read, I think what I really need to do with my life is write the mother of all teen novels.
MY LIFE SUCKS WORSE THAN YOURS by SUPERFAST READER
Our girl is an overachiever from a broken home who was molested by a family friend when she was young. She keeps a journal chronicling her struggles with bulimia and anorexia. After a wild crystal meth-fueled party gets out of control, she ends up dating one of the boys she had sex with that night. They spend most of their time getting drunk together, but when he starts hitting her, she turns to cutting to relieve the pain. She dumps him, but then he starts stalking her so she launches a crusade against premarital sex and gets invited to testify in front of Congress. However, her ex-best friend has become a Queen Bee Mean Girl and frames her in a cheating scandal, so she can’t go. Utterly depressed, our girl attempts suicide. She wakes up on the psych ward where she makes a new best friend and finds love.
The sequel will send her off to college where things REALLY get crazy.